Wac Mom and I were talking over coffee this morning and the "Kindergarten Mom" relationships you must now forge came up. Not so much for me, as J's school has a car drop off program so you really never interact with the moms, but I definitely have to for L's preschool. Wac Mom has to for kindergarten though and it reminded me of a recent post I loved by a blogger that goes by the name of Cheeky Lotus.

Moms Are Just Former High Schoolers With Stretch Marks

No one warned me about The Drop Off.

In all the Kindergarten Preparedness advice I received, you would think someone would have slipped in there "Oh, and by the way, you'll want to buy yourself some new clothes too. And take a shower. And have interesting things to say at seven in the morning. Because every day you're going to have to stand with a group of women that you've never met. And after a few weeks, you're either in or you're out. Don't worry. You'll know which you are."

Where was this advice?? Huh? I was so focused on Savannah starting school and Savannah doing well socially and Savannah feeling confident that I completely missed the whole socially awkward adult dynamic that was bound to exist.

Here's how it goes down:

Group A - The Alpha Mom Group. These are the moms that get to school first. Always. Their hair is perfect. They wear coordinating workout clothes. The best dressed kids belong to them. Their cars are always shiny. They remember everyone's names. Aaaand one or two of them is bound to say "We were going to do private school, but we wanted to provide Tatum/Hunter/Preston with more diversity". (To which I responded "We were going to do private school too. But, we wanted to, you know, eat." No one laughed. Of course not.)

Group B - The Been There, Done That Group. This group is the most relaxed. They have older children in the school. They know where the multi-purpose room is and where to sign up for dance class. They smile at you, amused, while you fret (How many yard duties are there? What if there's a fire? Were we supposed to sign that pink paper?! I forgot to bring the pink paper!! IS HER BACKPACK GOING TO BE IN THE SUN BECAUSE THERE'S CHEESE IN THERE!). They calmly reassure you while their eyes say "Ah, to be young again".

Group C - The Nervous Newbies. These are the moms that bond over their anxiety. For the first week, they commiserate with each other (I was going to make him a peanut butter sandwich and then I remembered he isn't herrrrre." SOB). They grow closer as they recover and by the third week they're saying things like "You know, three hours isn't really enough. Now, first grade. That's going to be awesome. Let's get coffee!"

Group D - The Hopeful Stragglers. These moms are the ones pecking around to the various groups. They seem to be shy, but always wear an eager smile. Sometimes they visit with each other, but frequently walk to their car alone. I notice that most of these moms seem to be moms of boys. I wonder, is it harder to make friends when you're a boy mom?

Group E - The Drop Off and Go Group. Hi. Bye. They have enough friends. The End. I don't know; maybe they're bloggers?

I'm ashamed to admit I am mostly in Group E. That's pretty bad isn't it? Maybe with a mix of Group D in there because I AM friendly when I need to be. And boy does our school have every bit of the other groups too. Group A provides me with many mornings of amusement.

How did you rate?