CRAP

I have to take it off of Season Pass from TIVO.

Again.

I've attempted to watch this series on the Discovery Channel several times before. I find it fascinating, as it is done in a docu-drama style telling stories of "real-life" experiences. It alternates between interviewing the real life people that it happened to while "reenacting" the story with actors.

And each time I have gotten about a week under my belt until it starts to creep into my head. I only watch them while eating lunch so it's not like I am watching it in the dark of night or anything, and it doesn't scare me while I'm watching it. But later it also doesn't seem to leave my head or it starts to make me paranoid of noises or going into the basement alone.

See, MY house isn't haunted...so I just don't need that in my life.

Hence, knowing that I need to stop watching it despite the fact that I enjoy it. It's not like those scary movies that are totally unrealistic. The fact that it COULD happen bothers me. And I know we will all have differing opinions on whether or not ghosts and/or demons exist so that is not the debate here. I can't stand debating things that we cannot prove - it is one of my pet peeves. But I don't mind hearing your point of view so feel free to leave that, as opinions are always fun to know about people. But like I tell the Jehovah's Witnesses that regularly come to my door...I like the way that I worship God now and I'm not about to become a member of your club anytime soon, but feel free to tell me how you feel about it and I'll respect that. How that is like your point of view...I'm not sure. It made sense when I wrote it.

I will say that I have had several things happen to me in my life that make me want to stay far, far away from anything supernatural. But that is just me. I have zero desire to prove or disprove any of it so relax, I'm not trying to seek it out. But I like to observe it from the safe distance of the TV to my couch...or so I thought.

And it's been educational. I've been telling a patient but eye-rolling Keith all the new things I've learned from listening to these people like:

1. If you are dumb enough to use a Ouija board and it works, for goodness sakes DON'T burn it. Not only have you opened a portal of some sort, but it can't be closed now. And while we are on the subject, do not try and investigate this on your own. Go find someone who has made it their life mission to do this sort of thing. Either they know more than you or you are paying for their own stupidity to be at risk. Find a motel and wait it out.

2. It doesn't matter how you feel about the Catholic Church right now, if you are possessed they are your FRIENDS. Get lots of things blessed, use holy water like it is coming out of your tap and for goodness sakes get an EXORCISM if you need it. Stop questioning if you are going crazy or not. If you weren't crazy yesterday, chances are it didn't just happen overnight.

3. There is a BIG difference between a demon and a post-human spirit. Be sure you figure it out quick and get the heck out of there. If it happens to be a demon, you're in a bind because once they come to know you, you are always at risk for the rest of your life and they will follow you wherever you go, unlike the other types of hauntings that are usually tied to a particular place. Consider joining the clergy just to be safe.

4. Hauntings feed off of negative emotions like fear and anger. So, you know, if you run into one, be calm and happy.

5. I feel sorry for the poor souls who buy houses and are stuck dealing with these issues. I will not feel sorry for you if you rent a place and stick around. Is a deposit really worth all of this? Cut your losses and get the heck out. Your stupidity is just making me mad.

6. Finally, don't assume that this happens only in really old dwellings. Although there might be a higher incident rate in those, it can happen in brand new houses too. If it looks like a ghost, smells like a ghost, acts like a ghost and feels like a ghost...it's probably a ghost. Stop blaming the cat.

That concludes my public service announcement on all things supernatural. Don't say you didn't learn anything! I must go watch Friends now...

Disclaimer: Keith thinks that I may just have offended half of you reading this who won't find it funny at all. But he's warned me of other posts I've written that have had the potential to do that and you're still here. So if you are offended, I'm sorry. But I figure you know me well enough now to sigh, shake your head and move on. I KNOW that I am ridiculous...but it's part of my charm...right?