Does This Child Make Me Look Dumb?

While we all know that staying home to raise children is a very intelligent decision to make, it is also ironic that no other career choice can erase quite as many brain cells as this one can.

I don't live on any side of the "Mommy Wars" - I think either choice is admirable - but truth be told, there are days I look at my freshly showered friends hopping a train to a meeting in the city, or jetting off to a work conference in Italy and I feel, well, a bit jealous. Not because I don't want to be home with my children, I'm very grateful for that opportunity, but because they are using brain cells, honing that college education and dressing in clothes that don't say "Old Navy Yoga" on them.

Once seemingly intelligent, I now work the People Puzzler to keep my mind active. And not because it is challenging, but because it is the only crossword book that I have a 90% chance of completing correctly with a pen. That makes me feel smart - until I remember that is mostly based on pop culture. And then I get depressed again.

A friend and I were having an interesting conversation over lunch the other day. She was recalling the early days of her youngest of three - the days where you shower once every four days, have more bodily fluid than you care to ever see again and are too skinny for pregnancy clothes and way too fat for the old ones.

She remembers one particular morning when she was sleep deprived and overwhelmed and her husband, well-rested and sharply dressed, asked her to pick up the drycleaning that day, despite the fact that she hadn't even left the house yet with all three by herself.

She snapped and found herself standing at the dining room window as he got into his car to head to work screaming at the top of her lungs, I'm Too Smart For This!!

And if I think about all of the skills I've honed since staying home - mediation, organization, multi-tasking, event planning - it is all stuff that good resumes are built from. In my field, I am probably considered a dinosaur - YouTube and Instant Messaging weren't even being used when I was on top of my game.

But I have hope that one day my brain will return and I'll be able to hold good party conversations that do not start with the line...you won't believe what the baby did today!

And until then, I will proudly keep my 9:30 a.m. bubble blowing meeting, my 11:05 referee post at the Sibling Smackdown Pre-snack Event, the 2:30 quiet time-management seminar and the 7:00 pm employee rest and relaxation policies lecture.